What meditation was for the Buddha writing is for me. This blog is where I write for my spiritual liberation, where I seek to discover dharma, live the life of a householder and pursue my sadhana to release myself from the dharmasankatas I find myself trapped in.
In my life, the most significant decisions I have taken have been based on an ineffable spiritual calculus. The girl who became my life consort, the career I pursue, and now, the home I bought a few days ago with my life partner all came from a deep, ineffable, spiritual calculus.
Of course, we are speaking with the benefit of hindsight
Few days ago, along with my life partner, I bought my first home at the age of 38. I had been procrastinating on this decision all my adult life. I used to joke with my friends that “permanent address” is a superstition. And yet, as it happens in life, I bought a permanent address to discover if I could have the cake and eat it too.
Why should I create a binary between meaningful life and being successful? Many months ago, when I was in deep spiritual churn bogged by the weight of this decision, one of my spiritual mentors shared a powerful insight: Buying a home deepens your roots. And so the wheels were set in motion.
Modern lives teach us to be non-commital to the place we find ourselves domiciled in. And so, we subconsciously approach the place as if we are ready to move anytime. My parents didn’t live that way. Neither did my grand parents. Nor did my great-grand parents. How did we end up living in this strange way? What price are we paying for being in this state of non-mooringness?
In a profound conversation with my friend Sameer, I realized that the whole climate crisis could very well be the price our children will pay for our eternal, modern state of nonmooringness.
When your needs are fulfilled elsewhere, when your work happens elsewhere, when the food you eat is grown elsewhere, when the waste you create goes elsewhere, when the people who cook food for us come from elsewhere, when our jobs happen elsewhere, how on earth do we discover our roots where we live?
In my spiritual practice, I realize that I need my moorings to spread myself deep within. I was born in a deeply religious family in the bylanes of Mylapore. As I grew up to plumb my inner moorings, I witnessed the facade of harmony between my inner context — whose core was nourished by the cultural life of Mylapore- and the external context dictated by my “modern” schooling crumble.
I closely witnessed the intricate hypocrisy of my middle-class upbringing in which the cultural axioms shaped by the Indian ways of being aimed towards liberation were conveniently appropriated towards fragile ‘elsewhere’ constructions of “success”.
My inquiry to find an authentic context which harmonizes my inner way of being and external way of doing took me to many places — ashrams, organic farms, small and large corporations — in the company of many wise men who taught me by the intensity of their being more than anything else.
Today, as I turn 38, I consider myself fortunate to discover a context that harmonizes my inner way of being with external ways of seeking, figuring and eking out a living. And now, I feel ready to buy home and spread my roots deep within.
How have you discovered your roots within?