This is one of my favourite dialogues in Shawshank Redemption. Although, unlike Andy Durfresne, I had to quit my job to discover and renounce my dvesha towards capital and capitalism and eventually discover, or at least aspire to discover, Ashta Lakshmis in my life.
Time for a short flashback.
My introduction to agriculture came with a heavy dose of romantic idealism. This idealism emerged during my MBA days when I was simultaneously attending two courses in two different B-Schools.
Don't ask me how.
I was doing the regular MBA thing in one and in the other, I was a student who had signed up for an elective course on "Science, Technology and Ecology".I am in no way exaggerating this. Doing this course was like taking a red pill into the Matrix. It completely transformed my life and how I saw the world around me.
As a part of this elective course, we had guest lectures from deep ecologists who convinced me that biomass is the only renewable energy on earth; we had fascinating lectures on pregnancy and the ecology of the body which made me discover how to be an active participant in my wife's labour process; we travelled across draught-prone regions of Maharashtra and met eccentric visionaries who were building Buckminster Fuller's Geodesic Domes and water banks in rural India.
The impact of this course was such that I became a part-time environmental activist who deplored the soul-crushing nature of capitalism. Much like the strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I had a day job of being a technology consultant and on the nights and weekends, I became a closet environmental activist. I travelled across weekends to farms, volunteering as free labour at farms and farmer markets, learning about alternative modes of living and growing food in planet-friendly ways. I wrote angry screeds about capitalism and looked at the entire system with so much rage and hate. I wanted to run away from the parasitic design of urban city life and find refuge in an organic farm.
My weekends were spent visiting organic farms, meeting farmers, and learning as much as I could about farming by volunteering at farms and observing wise farmers at work.
My dream in fact was a grand one. I wanted to quit my full-time job, run away from the city, grow food for my family, homeschool my child, and run a small, independent consulting business that provided enough income to continue my land-living experiments.
There was just one problem.
None of the members of my family was ready for any of this. Thanks to my yoga practice, it took me several years to discover the physics of those underlying motivational forces fueling my dreams.
Much to my horror, I painfully discovered that my dream was my refuge to run away from the world. It was my oasis to run away from big BAD cities, to maintain an arms-length distance from extractive capitalist systems, and to find comfort in virgin, innocent villages while climate change threatened to rip big cities apart.
I slowly changed the orientation of my navigation system. I decided to live in a city and work in agribusiness so that I could continue to visit farms, meet farmers, and hopefully figure out what it takes to design food and agriculture systems that didn't treat urban and rural as separate compartments in our heads.
Life took a 180-degree turn when I ventured into the world of agribusiness, working as a product manager in an agritech startup.
I started working with almost every other large agribusiness player whom I had conveniently othered and criticized during my environmental activist days. I got to meet so many people who worked in large agribusinesses and shared my genuine concern for improving farmers' lives.
Spending the last seven years in agribusiness and agriculture taught me a valuable lesson: All of us are responsible for the current design of our broken food systems and it is our responsibility to rebuild them if we care about our future.
When I was a paycheck employee, it was easy to criticize capitalism. No matter what I thought about capitalism and its “evil” machinations, the ‘salary credited’ SMS came in a clockwork mode at the end of every month.
Life took a 360-degree turn when I quit my agritech startup and became an independent consultant who had the sole responsibility of providing Artha for the family. I had no clue how much financial uncertainty I was trading to seek the certainty of doing things I deeply love every single breath of my life.
The dance of life was such that circumstances pushed me to confront my resistance to creating wealth for the family. What you resist, persists. And as wise men have pointed out, I discovered for the first time that the moment I secretly despite wealth, it eludes me.
It was when I discovered that words like ‘wealth’, and ‘capital’ are insufficient. They don’t carry the deep-rooted liveness I experience in my life. It was the sacred moment Lakshmi came into my life.
As much as we don’t see Laksh (the goal) in Lakshmi, we don’t see wealth as the means to the ultimate seeking that drives us.
Today, thanks to the grace of the universe, I feel enlivened to discover, or at least aspire to discover eight forms of wealth.
Adi Lakshmi refers to the foremost, fundamental, foundational element of our lives. What are our roots? What is our basic identity? Can I observe the role I play as Venky in this life and remember my true nameless, stateless identity underneath?
“She is depicted as four-armed, carrying a lotus and a red flag, and other two arms expressing the abhaya mudra (fearlessness pose) and the varada mudra (blessing pose).”
Dhana Lakshmi refers to riches and wealth that I once saw as an evil force that made people mindless slaves of capitalism. Today, it is dhana Lakshmi, one of the eight forms of Lakshmi. With what ignorance I could have turned my face against Lakshmi? In Yoga, to practice aparigraha is to assert what your true worth is. Can I discover what my real value is?
“Dhana Lakshmi is depicted with six hands — one wielding a discus (symbolizing time, purity of mind, and protection), one with a conch (symbolizing creation), one with a bow and arrow, one with a water pitcher (symbolizing elixir of life), one with a lotus, and one in Abhaya mudra with gold coins flowing from the palm.”
Dhanya Lakshmi refers to health and agricultural prosperity. Every time I go to rural villages as a part of my work, every time smallholding farmers feed me prasad, I see dhanya Lakshmi there, whether they recognize it or not.
“Portrayed in green garments that represent growth, renewal, and agricultural greenery, Dhanya Lakshmi sits on a pink lotus and is depicted with eight hands — one in Abhaya mudra, one in Varada mudra, one holding a mace (symbolizing strength), two holding lotuses, and three holding various agricultural products.”
Nothing can be more tragic than farmers relinquishing dhanya Lakshmi in narrow pursuit of dhana lakshmi. Today, in doing what I do in my work life, my pursuit is simple: Can my work dharma help all of us ( including farmers) see the importance of Dhanya Lakshmi in the first place?
Dhairya Lakshmi refers to courage and valour in pursuing your path. I have been blessed with Dhairya Lakshmi to pursue an unconventional career path and wealth through those means.
“She is depicted as eight-armed, seated on a lion, in red garments, carrying a chakra, shankha, bow, arrow, trishula (or a sword), a bundle of palm leaf scriptures, other two hands in the abhaya mudra and the varada mudra.”
To me, it boils down to a fundamental truth: In which part of your life, are you willing to be unreasonable?
I discovered this lesson from my mentor a decade ago and at some level, I have internalized it to a point that my behaviour feels normal to the core. The core insight is this: The part of your life in which you are willing to be unreasonable is the part where unreasonable results will come.
In a world that loves the intellect, we are subtly taught to be reasonable and nothing can be more idiotic than that.
Reasonable Goals = Reasonable Outcome. Mind you, being unreasonable is different from fantasizing. You become unreasonable only when you discover an insight that has come from your own deep instinct with the domain.
And that instinct emerges only when you love your domain- what you are doing - with all your heart! Animals’ survival depends on holding on to their instinct. That’s why they are highly irrational. A cat knows that if it doesn’t behave like a cat, it will die. Its motivation and work would be to become the best cat it can be. It can. Not best in a human way. Cat’s own way.
In pursuing Dhairya Lakshmi, my quest is to stay true to my path, take risks, trust my intuition and see where life leads me.
Santana Lakshmi refers to the joy of progeny and creativity. Can you leave a legacy? What will you leave on the planet when you are nothing more than a pot of ashes handed over to your loved ones when they finish burning your body in the biogas crematorium? On the thirteenth day of your death ceremony, what community will come and speak highly of you?
Parents are mostly useless (to their children, of course). However, parenting is an indispensable project of self-discovery. In my experiments with conscious hands-on parenting, one of my fundamental hypotheses has been this insight that the deeper they are tethered to their parents in their initial three years, the more independent they become, as they grow up.
Willy Nilly, my unconventional career path has sponsored and helped me play the role of a father who is available for his child.
“She is depicted as six-armed, carrying two kalashas (water pitcher with mango leaves and a coconut on it), a sword, a shield, a child on her lap, a hand in abhaya mudra, and the other holding a child. The child holds a lotus.”
Whether in my work at Agribusiness Matters or in Mandram, I have been slowly midwifing a community that explores culture and agriculture. I hope to leave a legacy that is proud of what I am doing in the name of work in this intersection of culture and agriculture.
Gaja Lakshmi/Samrajya Lakshmi/Soubhagya Lakshmi refers to the wealth of power, the role of luck, and the wealth of influencing others to live a dharmic life.
“She is depicted as four-armed, donning red garments, carrying two lotuses, two arms expressing the abhaya mudra and the varada mudra, surrounded by two elephants bathing her with water pots.”
What is the most fascinating part about Soubhagya Lakshmi is the role of luck. How can you get lucky? In my study of ergodicity, what I am discovering more and more is how much we take luck for granted.
In Indic thought, luck is a factor of how much karma you have brought from your previous life and how much you are willing to work with your karmashaya.
Vidya Lakshmi refers to the wealth of knowledge and skills.
I have been extremely blessed to be mentored by an amazing set of mentors across diverse domains and in this pathless path, the skills I acquire in my life are a function of where my path is leading me towards.
What I am discovering now in indic thought is that yoga has always been a precursor to learn any skill in any domain.
“She is dressed in a white saree and has a resemblance to the goddess Saraswati. She holds a book of the Vedas, a peacock feather as a pen, the varada mudra and the abhaya mudra.”
Vijaya Lakshmi refers to success and victory in whatever we do.
Few sentences cling to our souls like leaches. They do what good leeches have done since time immemorial: They take their fill of your blood and leave you healthy.
Reflecting on his life journey after quitting his job three years ago, Chris Wong wrote a beautiful article and this sentence in particular left me pondering deeply about what I do in my work life.
“Rationality can’t tell you how your life can be meaningful, and if you depend on rationality, your life will be meaningless."
When near and dear ones inquire sincerely about why I have chosen this path of solopreneurship, the explanations I give rarely assuage them. Even though I have my stock of rational justifications, it strikes them as unreasonable. It is not hard to fathom why.
In life, there are legible ambitions and illegible ambitions. And when you move from working for someone towards working for yourself, ambitions become illegible.
When you are employed, it is easiest to describe what you do. When you say that you are working as X in Company Y, it is easier to gauge where the path will lead. The end state is visible.
In weddings, social gatherings, and to your fathers-in-law, legible ambitions are easiest to explain. As Paul Millerd whose lovely essay made me reflect on this, puts it,
"The reason so many people cling to default metrics of success is that other people understand them. Legible ambition is a story that your parents can tell their friends. We fear that not having such legible ambition means we will be cast out of our modern work-centred culture.”
Illegible ambition is personal, hard if not impossible to describe to others, and might not lead anywhere impressive, sometimes for years. But it is also immensely powerful"
When I tell a few dear friends that what drives me to work is the larger civilizational question of exploring the relationship between culture and agriculture through a system-thinking lens, very few get it. And that's okay. For THAT IS the nuclear reactor in my backyard that supplies energy day in and day out to work.
My benchmark for success right now is how I strive to achieve the goal I seek and create wealth in the process.
“She is depicted as eight-armed, dressed in blue garments, carrying the chakra, shankha, sword, shield, lotus, pasha, and other two hands expressing the abhaya mudra and the varada mudra.”
In this auspicious month of Aadi, I wish all of us discover ashtalakshmi in our lives and continue our sadhana towards that.
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